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If you had to give the priorities in your life what would they be?
I hope you are receiving many blessings from our heavenly Father.
The relationship really began deteriorating over time.
In spite of the fact that I thought she was somewhat indifferent towards me
and had stopped showing the concern of any wife towards her husband,
I thought perhaps that she no longer loved me or that it was a stage that we had to get through over time.
She stopped including me and asking me how it went at work and,
although I am very chatty (I talk and talk),
I also give liberally and I always showered her with gifts, roses, nice things,
and I don't know what else.
She simply said thank you, which made me press her and question her on her feelings.
She said first of all that I was her husband
and that is how she saw me, no more, and did not really see why I had asked her the question.
After this, I took the decision to leave since I could not get a reaction out of her
and the nights and days were already very dark for me
(sad, seeing that my feelings had never changed towards her. I love her with all my heart)
and I thought that by this means she would perhaps realize what her true position was with regard to me.
However, the days passed and I could not resist calling her on her mobile.
In the first call she told me that some payments were due
and that everything was fine for her, something which grieved me greatly.
Two weeks after leaving, I decided to go back home to see if we could talk things over as I was very sad,
but, to my surprise, she told me that she no longer loved me
and did not want me to come back
and, if I came back, she would go to her mother's,
since she wanted me to be more comfortable at home.
She told me that once but it did not come from the heart.
What I have not told you is that we have a lovely son, called Alex, and he is my treasure.
He is three years old and we spent most of the time together in one way or another at the church.
I took him almost everywhere with me.
That is why we have now decided to live together in different rooms
and the situation is very bad.
Each day is worse.
What I know clearly is that she has not betrayed me with another man and perhaps, if I had asked her nicely, she would have been honest with me.
But what can I do if I love her still as I loved her at first and I want her with me?
I do not know what to do.
I hope I have not bored you with details of my life
and I thank you for what you can do for me.
May God bless you.
Thank you for your letter.
You mentioned a church.
I assume that in spite of your obvious involvement with them, they were of no support to you.
I would like to know the name of the church please.
Are you Roman Catholics who go to confession?
Do you pray direct to God or to Mary and Saints?
I appreciate the love you have for your wife and your young son.
For a moment I would like you to forget your association with the church and your wife.
My question for you is this.
If you had to give the priorities in your life what would they be?
Would it be your wife, and your son and other things, or would it be
God, your wife and your son, and then other things?
If it is not God, your wife and your son, you indeed have a very big problem.
Physically you might not only be doing all the right things but probably more
than most men might do.
Often the problems we encounter are spiritual problems which manifest themselves physically. The Eternal's priorities are very rarely ours.
Isaiah 55:8 For my thoughts
are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
Isaiah 55:9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways,
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
You both need to be very thankful for what you have.
Blessing which we take for granted can easily be taken away, for example health.
The Eternal God will not play second fiddle to any one at all.
He must be number one in your life.
If he is calling you, He will remove any obstacle which prevents Him from being
Another point is this, the Eternal is not interested in changing your wife to make
her more loving to you.
It does not work that way.
He is interested in changing you so that you can cope with whatever situation
you find yourself in.
When He decides to work with your wife, He will do so.
It is wrong to try to use your logic and reason to deal with the various problems
which you encounter.
You will have found that nothing works.
I could go further and say that the more you try the worse it gets!!
You might have two choices but each of them turns out to be wrong, whichever one you chose.
You have to seek the Eternal for wisdom, patience and discernment,
before you act.
Ask Him, directly what you should do, wait for a response and then obey what you are told.
Do not disobey because it does not agree with your thinking.
Humility and obedience is the key to most problems.
You will find that there are changes which you both have to make to your lives
to come into line with what the Eternal wants, and the happy relationship which
you both desire.
Your wife did not marry you and have your child because she hated you and wanted to be miserable.
You both have expectations which neither of you can realise.
You have to realise that our adversary will lie to you both, and whatever it takes
to mess you up, he will lie and tell you.
He is exceedingly clever and deceiving and seducing, that is what the bible says.
That includes you and I.
Revelation 12:9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth,
and his angels were cast out with him.
You have to pray and ask God to be the following things for you
Clarity of thinking.
This is the only way to acquire these character traits of the Eternal.
This is the only way to cope and the solution with any, and all trials.
You might think that the thing to pray for is a resolution to your problems,
and God is saying seek me first and then let us worry about your problems.
That is straight scripture.
Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you.
Love is acting without expecting anything at all in return.
You might be crowding your wife too much and stifling her, not giving her, her own space.
You might not be aware of how much pressure she is under when she is looking after your son, if you are away at work for example.
It is unwise to press someone about their feelings.
You do not know what your wife might be going through on the inside,
and which she does not want to speak about at this time.
There can be things which she does that she absolutely hates, and you might take for granted, for example washing and ironing.
It is the fruit in reality that matters rather than just words.
It is important to understand that both of you are only people.
In reality the void in your lives cannot be filled by another person,
although you might think so.
This void is designed for and by the Eternal.
He has to occupy that place.
The very same thing applies to your wife.
You can never fill the void in her life.
The Eternal has to fill that void.
However, nice either of you is, at some point in your life you will eventually
arrive at this crisis point.
Often we get married, and we try to put our mate into the God void.
Of course it cannot happen.
Our partner can never match up to this.
We can expect our wives to fill this God void, which of course she cannot.
When the Eternal God fills the void which He designed for Himself,
the other void the desire for a mate, will easily be taken care off.
Of course I understand you have a mate, but I mean the relationship aspect.
Your wife said thank you for gifts !
Trust me some do not even say thanks, I know.
There is a document which we have on Relationships'
This addresses some additional points which might be helpful.
I hope that this is helpful.
I will try to offer further comments to any mail which you might send.
Be Humble Repent Listen To The Eternal God Obey Him.
This is very easy to say, but I assure you that it is physically impossible,
without the empowerment of the Eternal God.
Attending some Church, going up to an altar call, or isolating yourself,
in the hope that somehow it will all be alright, will not do it.
What are you going to do about it before it is too late?
See The Video: Obedience Is The Only Way Of Escape
. The only way out of this dilemma is Jesus Christ.
. He is the only way of escape.
. We have to be under His Care and Protection.
. Salvation by any other name or means,
. Simply does not exist.
. Complete Obedience is required
Praise the Lord.
. Come soon Lord Jesus.