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Questions/Comments/Responses
Question/Comments
If you had to give the priorities in your
life what would they be?
Question
I hope you are receiving many blessings
from our heavenly Father.
The relationship really began deteriorating
over time.
In spite of the fact that I thought she was
somewhat indifferent towards me
and had stopped showing
the concern of any wife towards her husband,
I thought perhaps that she no longer loved me
or that it was a stage that we had to get through over time.
She stopped including me and asking me
how it went at work and,
although I am very chatty (I talk and talk),
I also give liberally and I always
showered her with gifts, roses, nice things,
and I don't know what else.
She simply said thank you, which made me
press her and question her on her feelings.
She said first of all that I was her husband
and that is how she saw me, no more, and did
not really see why I had asked her the question.
After this, I took the decision to leave
since I could not get a reaction out of her
and the nights and days were already very
dark for me
(sad, seeing that my feelings had never
changed towards her. I love her with all my heart)
and I thought that by this
means she would perhaps realize what her true position was with regard to
me.
However, the days passed and I could not
resist calling her on her mobile.
In the first call she told me that some
payments were due
and that everything was fine for her,
something which grieved me greatly.
Two weeks after leaving, I decided to go back
home to see if we could talk things over as I was very sad,
but, to my surprise, she told me that she no
longer loved me
and did not want me to come back
and, if I came back, she would go to her
mother's,
since she wanted me to be more
comfortable at home.
She told me that once but it did
not come from the heart.
What I have not told you is that we have a
lovely son, called Alex, and he is my treasure.
He is three years old and we spent most
of the time together in one way or another at the church.
I took him almost everywhere with
me.
That is why we have now decided to live
together in different rooms
and the situation is very bad.
Each day is worse.
What I know clearly is that she has not
betrayed me with another man and perhaps, if I had asked her nicely, she would
have been honest with me.
But what can I do if I love her still as I
loved her at first and I want her with me?
I do not know what to do.
I hope I have not bored you with details of
my life
and I thank you for what you can do for
me.
May God bless you.
Alex"
Answer
Greetings Alex,
Thank you for your letter.
You mentioned a church.
I assume that in spite of your obvious
involvement with them, they were of no support to you.
I would like to know the name of the church
please.
Are you Roman Catholics who go to
confession?
Do you pray direct to God or to Mary and
Saints?
I appreciate the love you have for your wife
and your young son.
For a moment I would like you to forget your
association with the church and your wife.
My question for you is this.
If you had to give the priorities in your
life what would they be?
Would it be your wife, and your son and other
things, or would it be
God, your wife and your son, and then other
things?
If it is not God, your wife and your
son, you indeed have a very big problem.
Physically you might not only be doing all
the right things but probably more
than most men might do.
Often the problems we encounter
are spiritual problems which manifest themselves physically. The Eternal's
priorities are very rarely ours.
Isaiah 55:8 For my thoughts
are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
Isaiah 55:9 For as the heavens are higher
than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways,
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
You both need to be very thankful for what
you have.
Blessing which we take for granted can easily
be taken away, for example health.
The Eternal God will not play second fiddle
to any one at all.
He must be number one in your life.
If he is calling you, He will remove any
obstacle which prevents Him from being
number one.
Another point is this, the Eternal is not
interested in changing your wife to make
her more loving to you.
It does not work that way.
He is interested in changing you so that you
can cope with whatever situation
you find yourself in.
When He decides to work with your wife, He
will do so.
It is wrong to try to use your logic and
reason to deal with the various problems
which you encounter.
You will have found that nothing works.
I could go further and say that the more you
try the worse it gets!!
You might have two choices but each of them
turns out to be wrong, whichever one you chose.
You have to seek the Eternal for wisdom,
patience and discernment,
before you act.
Ask Him, directly what you should do, wait
for a response and then obey what you are told.
Do not disobey because it does not agree with
your thinking.
Humility and obedience is the key to
most problems.
You will find that there are changes which
you both have to make to your lives
to come into line with what the Eternal
wants, and the happy relationship which
you both desire.
Your wife did not marry you and have your
child because she hated you and wanted to be miserable.
You both have expectations which neither of
you can realise.
You have to realise that our adversary will
lie to you both, and whatever it takes
to mess you up, he will lie and tell
you.
He is exceedingly clever and deceiving and
seducing, that is what the bible says.
That includes you and I.
Revelation 12:9 And the great dragon
was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the
whole world:
he was cast out into the earth,
and his angels were cast out with him.
You have to pray and ask God to be the
following things for you
Love
Patience
Discernment
Wisdom.
Clarity of thinking.
This is the only way to acquire these
character traits of the Eternal.
This is the only way to cope and the solution
with any, and all trials.
You might think that the thing to pray for is
a resolution to your problems,
and God is saying seek me first and then let
us worry about your problems.
That is straight scripture.
Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first
the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you.
Love is acting
without expecting anything at all in return.
You might be crowding your wife too much
and stifling her, not giving her, her own space.
You might not be aware of how much
pressure she is under when she is looking after your son, if you are away
at work for example.
It is unwise to press someone about their feelings.
You do not know what your wife might be going
through on the inside,
and which she does not want to speak about at
this time.
There can be things which she does that she
absolutely hates, and you might take for granted, for example washing and ironing.
It is the fruit in reality that matters
rather than just words.
It is important to understand that both of
you are only people.
In reality the void in your lives cannot be
filled by another person,
although you might think so.
This void is designed for and by the Eternal.
He has to occupy that place.
The very same thing applies to your wife.
You can never fill the void in her life.
The Eternal has to fill that void.
However, nice either of you is, at some point
in your life you will eventually
arrive at this crisis point.
Often we get married, and we try to put our
mate into the God void.
Of course it cannot happen.
Our partner can never match up to this.
We can expect our wives to fill this God
void, which of course she cannot.
When the Eternal God fills the void
which He designed for Himself,
the other void the desire for a mate, will
easily be taken care off.
Of course I understand you have a mate, but I
mean the relationship aspect.
Your wife said thank you for gifts !
Trust me some do not even say thanks, I know.
There is a document which we have on Relationships'
This addresses some additional points which
might be helpful.
I hope that this is helpful.
I will try to offer further comments to any
mail which you might send.
Much Grace
Peter James
Be Humble Repent Listen To The Eternal God Obey Him.
This is very easy to say, but
I assure you that it is physically impossible,
without the empowerment of the Eternal
God.
Attending some Church,
going up to an altar call, or isolating yourself,
in the hope that
somehow it will all be alright, will not do it.
What are you going to do about
it before it is too late?
See The Video: Obedience Is The Only Way Of Escape
. The only way out of
this dilemma is Jesus Christ.
. He
is the only way of escape.
. We have to be
under His Care and Protection.
. Salvation
by any other name or means,
. Simply does
not exist.
. Complete Obedience is
required
Praise
the Lord.
. Come soon Lord Jesus.
.
Amen.
