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Matthew 10:8
freely you have received,
freely
give.
Some of the points which I will make in the following message
are lessons which
I learnt personally between the end of
November 2000 and
mid February –2001.
I sincerely feel
and believe my conclusions to be true,
but I am aware
that others can and some
will have
different opinions. I accept that they are entitled to their views.
I am not saying
that the points which I make are the last
or definitive word
on the subject.
None the less I
hope and pray that my experience
will be a blessing
and comfort to you.
I hope that you
will see the merciful involvement of the Eternal
and that you will
also be able to give Him all the praise honour and glory,
which is His
alone.
During the summer,
I was aware that I was being carefully
prepared for something.
I had no idea what it was, none at all.
Some time before
the petrol crisis last summer,
I had been
spending a lot of time endeavouring to get closer to God.
One result which I
noticed was that more and more,
I was being
isolated from people. I was in the
wilderness.
Do not think that
this was a negative place it was not.
Then came the
petrol crisis.
Whilst most other
people were running around trying to get petrol,
my car remained
motionless on my drive for almost 2 months.
It was several
weeks before my car was operational again.
It did not bother
me. I simply walked wherever I could or stayed at home.
Then the phones
started giving trouble which went on for weeks.
Conversations if
possible were often inaudible or very short.
The problems with
the phone line meant that email usage was minimal.
There were severe
computer problems as computers crashed
and hard disks
were destroyed. This completed the communication disruption.
There are many
examples of people being separated, Moses, Paul,
right up to the
whole nation of Israel.
I am not trying to
elevate myself up to the level of these great people
but I am simply
stating what I see as a principle.
During this period
I felt and I still feel quite well and very positive.
It was also becoming
clear to me, that the Eternal wanted me
to experience Him,
not only as the Living God, the Creator,
and our Healer but
also the God of the Resurrection.
John
11:25 Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the
life:
he that believes on me,
though he have died, shall live;
I did not spend
much time thinking about it,
but from time to
time I wondered how this was going to happen.
In November around
the 14th my son Gary told me that
he was not feeling
very well.
He was living in London
but working in Manchester,
where he spent the
week in a hotel and came home at weekends.
his was not too
much of a problem. He was quite happy to do this.
However, suddenly
everything went sadly wrong.
There was the
petrol crisis which was followed by the rail crisis.
Journeys were a
nightmare by road or rail.
Countless hours
were spent travelling, as trains were cancelled.
Extensive speed
restrictions on the trains caused many to seek
solutions by
driving, which caused grid lock from time to time .
The excessive
travelling tired him out and made him unwell.
When Gary checked
with his doctor he said that he thought
that he had a
kidney infection.
One evening around
November 23rd one of his friends encouraged him
to go to hospital
as he looked very unwell.
They admitted him
to hospital and tried to help him with very little effect.
I was told not to
worry.
As the phone call
advising me of this was in the evening,
I said that I
would be down the next day.
He had walked into
the hospital on his own steam and
next morning he
had actually walked to the bathroom and had a shower.
However when I
arrived, I found him in great distress with pain in
his stomach area
which would not be alleviated.
He was tugging at
his tummy to try and lessen the pain.
He said, “Dad help
me”,
I sensed in my
spirit that there was something negative in the environment
so I prayed about
it and the negative atmosphere eventually lifted.
I drove back to my
home to Northampton around 70 miles,
a journey which
Natasha, my youngest daughter, and I,
would make many
times over the next few weeks in the most appalling weather.
Around midnight of
that day I had a phone call from the nurse in charge of the
Intensive care
unit telling me that Gary had been moved to intensive care.
I thanked her for
calling and went back to sleep.
I had
already handed the whole situation over to God and
I
certainly was not going to take it back.
In the period of
time in the hospital I never did.
Others were
searching books trying to get advice here, there and everywhere.
My point of view
was and is that the Eternal whom I serve knows everything.
Isaiah
46:10 Declaring the
end from the beginning,
and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying,
My counsel shall stand, and I
will do all my pleasure:
Christ clearly
said our hairs were individually numbered not even just counted.
Matthew
10:30 But the very hairs of your head are all
numbered.
Whether we can
grasp it or not,
God knows
absolutely everything about everything.
Matthew
10:29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing?
and one of them shall not
fall on the ground without your Father.
We are clearly
told that He knows our needs before we do.
Matthew
6:8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father
knows what things ye have
need of, before ye ask him.
My mind goes into
a tail spin if I even dare to start, to try, to begin,
to understand His
might, power, awesomeness and majesty.
If you pray, do
you carefully identify yourself so that He knows
who is speaking to
Him? If you pray for others do you
carefully
identify them so
that there is no mix up?
From the countless
people who call on Him daily at the same time,
how does He and
hear and respond to people individually and yet
look after his
entire creation?
How does he
despatch angels which are numberless,
before the event
in order to protect us?
How does he
maintain, and order the named countless stars ?
And on and on it
goes.
In His sovereign
will, He appoints times for absolutely everything.
The fact that we
have not a clue is neither here nor there.
Job did not know
anything about the reason why disaster befell him.
The reality is
that it was ordained.
God in His
sovereign will permitted it.
Therefore I cannot
agree with those who teach that we live our lives
under time and
chance.
This reasoning is
the result of taking the end of a sentence
and applying it to
everything. This verse should be read in context.
Ecclesiastes
9:11 I returned, and saw under the sun,
that the race is not to the
swift,
nor the battle to the strong,
neither yet bread to the wise,
nor yet riches to men of
understanding,
nor yet favour to men of
skill;
but
time and chance (Rotherham - accident) happens to them all.
This is an
excellent reason why we should not gamble and bet.
It is a classic
application of “judge
not”.
Appearances are
very deceptive.
World champions do
not always win their events.
By observation we
would expect Goliath to destroy David.
99.99% of the
world would have bet on Goliath against David.
The whole army of
Israel certainly would have.
His victory must
have scrambled their brains.
Many inventors and
‘great’ men die in poverty.
When you observe
the leaders and the rich and you hear them
open their mouths,
you often wonder how ever did they achieve
the things which
they did.
Computer programs
often say “What You See Is What You Get”.
I assure you that
this is rarely the case.
The labour
required to get these to appear as you see them is unbelievable.
In reality and in
life this is rarely the case.
What you see is
not what you are going to get.
Often when
producing documents, the text seems to be in a perfectly
straight line on
the screen but when it is printed,
one line will be
out of alignment.
In order for it to
print correctly I have to make it appear on the screen
out of alignment
and then it will print properly.
Which school
teacher does not control the lessons to be learnt
and then gives an
exam?
It may appear to
us to be time and chance but to God absolutely
nothing is time
and chance.
Job himself did
not regard it as time and chance,
neither did he
blame God.
Job 10:2 I
will say unto God, Do not condemn me;
show me wherefore
you strive with me.
He did not sin
with his mouth.
It is true that he
complained but on the contrary he blessed God,
and he was fully
aware that God had permitted his problems,
although he did
not know why.
Read the whole
book to see the whole picture.
Job 2:10 ……In all this Job did not sin with his lips.
Job 1:21 and
he said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb,
and naked shall I return
thither: Jehovah gave,
and Jehovah has taken away; blessed be the name of Jehovah!
Often we complain
and bellyache continuously when the fact is
that we are only
experiencing minor aggravation or irritation.
In a moment Job
was confronted by devastating major disasters.
We also need to
realise that Job had not done anything wrong.
He was not being
punished.
We quickly say
that he was self-righteous,
but oh that we
were as upright as he was.
God was doing a
great work in him and this required that
he went through a
process in order to grow in Grace an Knowledge.
Which He
acknowledged that he had.
Job 42:5 I
have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear:
but now mine eye sees Thee.
Unfortunately that
is where most are today, they have heard but do not see.
This gives the
health and wealth preachers and advocates of law keeping
to receive
blessings a very real problem.
Many people out of
kindness and love have said to me:
How can one person
have to go through so much and in such a short time.
The answer to that
is that I did not go through these events on my own.
It is the Christ
living in me that strengthened me.
If this was not
the case without any question,
I would have
broken long ago.
You see it on the
TV and newspapers all the time.
A single event
destroying an individual.
This is not
something unique to me at all,
but is the case
for every Christian if they would allow
Christ to operate
in their lives. You will hurt but you will be victorious.
This is something
that will take our entire life just
to start to
understand and experience this.
2
Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me,
My grace is
sufficient for thee:
for my strength is made
perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I
rather glory in my infirmities,
that the power of Christ may
rest upon me.
Galatians
2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live;
yet
not I, but Christ lives in me:
and the life which I now
live in the flesh I live by the faith
of the Son of God, who loved
me, and gave himself for me.
Grace
is none other than Christ.
It is imperative
that we go through experiences because
we can only help
others in direct relation to what we have experienced.
If all you know is
theology that is all you can teach.
If all you know is
law that is all you can teach.
If all you know is
ritual, form and procedure, that is all you can teach.
If you
have experienced the reality of Christ living in you,
you can
teach and pass on life
so that
others can experience the same thing.
That is part of
our calling.
Those who think
that we are called just to ‘get people saved’
are only seeing
half of the story.
Those who think
that we are called just to look forward
to the future are
in the same boat.
Both of these
cases are missing the opportunity for Christ living in us
which causes us to
grow in Grace and Knowledge.
You can study and
read as many books as you like.
and still not grow
in Grace and Knowledge.
As a matter of
fact if you are blind,
the more you study
the more blind you become.
A classic example
of this is as follows.
Consider the
excellently photographed nature programs.
The more
experienced the producers,
the more
ridiculous their comments on evolution become.
It requires that
we humble ourselves and that we accept
that we do not
know everything.
It is not an
accident that Christ healed many people
who were
physically blind.
The physical
mirrors the spiritual,
and it requires a
miracle to remove spiritual blindness even
after you are
‘saved’.
Your
heart has to right before your mind will be right.
What do I mean by
your ‘heart’?
By this I mean the
seat of your emotions where love,
hate, envy,
jealousy, anger etc., dwells,
as opposed to the
thinking process.
If you are filled
with negative qualities,
it will not be
possible for your sound mind to operate properly.
You will stagnate
and be stunted although
you might in your
own eyes feel quite differently.
To be
saved is only the beginning of journey
and not
the arrival at our final destination.
The second thing
which has occurred more often
is that many have
said what is happening to you, just is not fair.
You are such a
nice person, you do not deserve these things happen to you.
They then tend to
cite, you help, encourage others etc..
I am not for a
moment criticising their heartfelt comments
which I greatly
appreciate.
However, it is
clear to me is that the sentiments expressed
pleasant though
they are, are in reality, a camouflaged concept of works.
When God is moving
you on, He is moving you on.
It has nothing to
do with what you have done.
An SAS man who
suddenly finds himself in the frontline of the battle
cannot rely on the
fact that he went to Sunday school
and helped little
old ladies.
It is not part of the
equation at all.
He had better be
prepared to fight and use
all the training
which he had drummed into him.
When David
confronted Goliath it was no good him telling Goliath,
be careful I
killed a bear and a lion.
His past exploits
got him where he was,
but that was of no
help to him at that time.
What was important
was that he came in the name of the Lord.
1 Samuel
17:45 And David said to the Philistine,
You come to me with sword,
and with spear, and with javelin;
but I come to thee in the name of Jehovah of hosts,
the God of the armies of
Israel, whom you have defied.
Do not think that
this is just a cold analytical appraisal.
It is not.
I assure that hurt
and pain are involved.
To those people
who say you have to grieve.
Of course you do.
Do not let outward
appearances cause you to jump to false conclusions.
The hurt comes in
waves but you are greatly strengthened
to let them break
over you and yet to still be standing after it passes.
I also need to
make it clear that the life of suffering
to which we are
called is not suffering
which we bring on
ourselves by our disobedience, ignorance or foolishness,
but rather
suffering in furtherance of the gospel.
The things that I
am going through are part and parcel of life.
Others suffer
similar things.
Maybe the
concentration individually is less for most people.
However, this is
allocated by God and He strengthens us accordingly.
To me,
my actual experience makes many scriptures very real indeed.
Bible in
Basic English 1 Corinthians 10:13
You have been put to no test
but such as is common to man:
and God is
true,
who will not let any test come on
you which you are not able to undergo;
but He will make with the
test a way out of it,
so that you may be able to go
through it.
Rotherham
1 Corinthians 10:13
Trial, has not taken you,
save such as man can bear;
faithful, moreover is God,
who will not suffer you to be
tried above what ye are able,
but will make,
with
the trial, also the way of escape,
that
ye may be able to hold out.
The next day I was
back in Homerton Hospital, in Hackney,
Gary was in a
coma, attached to every conceivable monitor and piece
of equipment to
keep him alive.
I joked and said
if he had a bad thought I was sure that they would know.
A machine was
breathing for him, which meant there was a large uncomfortable,
hose down his
throat. A dialysis machine was purifying his blood.
As I sat by his
bed the nurses explained everything to me.
I thanked them for
what they were doing.
I appreciated that
they were doing their best
but I knew that
they are not God and they could make mistakes.
But God was in
over all charge regardless of what they did.
They explained the
difficulties which they faced
as they tried to balance
his treatment.
It seems as if he
had also picked up an infection in the hospital,
but that is the
nature of the environment.
If you put lots of
sick and very sick people in a building,
it can hardly be a
surprise that in spite of various disciplines,
it is still a
dangerous place to be.
In any case, I was
confident that he would get better.
I believe that
God’s ultimate will for us that we are in health.
As I sat quietly
at his bedside, the thought came into my head.
There
you are Peter, that’s your son there critically ill,
and
you can do nothing about it. This was obviously true.
You
can now experience a little how I felt about My Son
when
He was on the earth and He suffered and died.
I
could have done something about it but I chose not to do so.
I could see that
there was a small parallel there.
I took the point.
Gary’s blood sugar
had gone to 40 parts per thousand.
It should be
around 5.
The days passed
and he remained stable with the sugar count slowly reducing.
The coma continued
and so did the visits.
After many days it
was decided that they would do an operation to put
the breathing hose
through his throat as they felt that it would
cause him less
distress. The operation was planned for
Tuesday.
However, on
Tuesday two other emergencies in the operating theatre
prevented this and
it was rescheduled for Friday.
He did not really
need another intrusion into his body.
Bear in mind that
he had never been ill or in hospital before,
and he did not
even have a filling in his teeth.
Surprisingly on
the Thursday they now considered not operating,
but actually
taking the air tube out all together and taking him
off the
respirator.
The
Eternal was again showing quite clearly His involvement in this situation.
This was an
unexpected dramatic change.
If he had the
operation I understand that it would be several months
before we could
expect him to speak again. That was not a part of the plan.
It was a couple of
days before he could speak clearly due to the damage
from the large air
pipe, but his voice rapidly got better.
Very quickly he
was taken off one monitor or life support system or another.
Around the 16th
of December, he was in a normal ward.
One of the
consultants told him that he had been seriously ill,
I interjected and
said you mean that he had come back from the dead,
which was
true.
The rapid progress
continued.
Many of his
friends visited him.
There was much
chatting and laughter in the ward as he ate his
favourite West
Indian food, which friends brought to him.
He had also seen
three people die, this was sobering but he took it in his stride.
On December 26th
his birthday things took yet another a dramatic turn.
His landlord who
had phoned me expressing his sympathy and saying a few days
previously how he
was like a son to him and a good hard working tenant.
Suddenly his
attitude changed.
He wanted him out
of the property immediately.
He had rented the
property for four years at an exorbitant rate.
Turning him out
was illegal and in fact a criminal offence not to mention immoral.
This is an offence
that results in automatic arrest.
I knew that we
could win a legal case and yet lose all his possessions.
Therefore I
telephoned two friends and with Natasha
my youngest
daughter and her boyfriend within a couple of hours
we had started to
arrive in London to secure his possessions.
Due to obstruction
by the Landlord,
Natasha had to
call the police to evict the Landlord from the premises.
As I said they
should have been arrested not just put of the property.
Meanwhile I went
to the hospital and told Gary there is a problem.
With many of his
friends around the bed, I said, I am sorry,
and I know that it
is your birthday,
but I explained
the situation and said I will secure everything that you own
and you can come
and recuperate with me
(as I expected to
happen in any case) when you leave hospital, goodbye.
That conversation
was over in a couple of minutes.
I was now
operating on a different frequency.
One which few
people have seen.
It was after
midnight when we had completely cleared the three floors
of his rented
accommodation.
By 3.00 am we were
back in Northampton with everything unloaded
into my home. The weather which had been quite bad had
cleared
for that one day
to give us a cold but clear and dry night to move everything.
As this was an
unplanned move.
Things were just
put into black bin bags and cardboard boxes.
Mounds of
electronic cables, books, clothes, electronic equipment,
computers, and
documents.
It was going to be
sometime before everything was sorted out.
Friends took some
things to addresses in London.
With hind sight it
is clear that the Eternal intervened again and allowed
him to be evicted.
The point is that my view is that his allotted time,
had, as it were
expired since November and we were in a period of grace.
at the rate he was
getting better he might feel that he could
move back to his
rented accommodation and arrange to get help.
This would have
been a disaster as when the appointed time was finally up
he would either be
in hospital or in his house.
Both of these were
not good, with being at his home the worst option.
He might have died
and not be found for days.
Instead he was
where he would have wanted to be.
When he was asked
have you any one to look after you his reply
was ‘My Dad’, and
that is what happened.
Natasha and her
friend Greg visited Gary regularly in spite of the weather
and picking up two
parking fines around £160 in the process.
The rail situation
prevented Sharon my eldest daughter from coming to London
when she wanted to
do so. But we kept in close contact all the time.
The days flashed
by and the progress continued at a great rate.
I sent out emails
keeping people posted as my computer allowed.
Things were
looking very good.
One day when I was
driving home, I managed to hear Witness Lee on the radio.
He is a favourite
mentor of mine.
He was speaking
about ‘The Burnt Offering’ in Leviticus 6.
Leviticus
6:9 Command
Aaron and his sons, saying,
This is the law of the
burnt-offering;
this, the burnt-offering,
shall be on the hearth on the altar all night
unto the morning, and the
fire of the altar shall be kept burning on it.
10 And
the priest shall put on his linen raiment, and his linen breeches
shall he put on his flesh,
and take up the ashes to which the fire has
consumed the burnt-offering
on the altar,
and he shall put them beside
the altar.
11 And
he shall put off his garments, and put on other garments,
and carry forth the ashes
without the camp unto a clean place.
Christ was the reality
of all the offerings mentioned in this book,
this includes the
burnt offering.
He said we are
expected to become burnt offerings if we are truly
following Christ.
Do not think always think that when something negative
happens to you
that God is punishing you.
It can be that He
has accepted you and you will again suffer,
and what appears
to be a great negative set back is not a set back,
but this is
showing his acceptance of you.
The burnt offering
was very important.
It was completely
burnt and the ashes were very special.
So special in fact
that the High Priest had to change his garments
when dealing with
them.
I can tell you
exactly where I heard this.
It was in Enfield,
London, very near to where I used to live.
As soon as I heard
this, I knew deep within my spirit
that this was
meant for me.
Something else
dramatic or even traumatic was going to happen.
I could not
imagine what.
Gary had been
brought back from the dead.
This was far more
dramatic than just ‘healing’.
Whilst he was in
intensive care and in the ward,
I had prayed for
people and God had intervened and healed them.
I did not know
what was to happen, where or when,
but I told some of
my close friends my expectation.
In hospital he was
having his favourite meals continued to be brought to him
by his friends
instead of the hospital food.
On Wednesday
January 10th I drove to London to bring him
back to
Northampton.
He wondered how he
would get into the car.
He was greatly
surprised, how easily that happened.
The drive was an easy
one.
He wondered even
more how he would get upstairs,
but unbelievably
he got upstairs.
He had 3 very good
days, listening to his music,
phoning his
friends and having visitors and chatting to Natasha, friends and I.
His genuine
complaint was that the house was too quiet and
he wanted some
noise such as a trolley being pushed around during the night.
He was quite
serious.
The best I could
offer was some tape recorded bird song,
which I played at
2.00am.
On Saturday I was
quite relaxed and went to a meeting leaving him on his own
with access to me
by mobile phone.
That evening some
of my friends visited him and were thrilled
to see how well he
was.
They could hardly
believe how ill he had been.
His face looked
the best he had looked for years.
Around 5.00am Sunday morning he awakened and went to the
bathroom.
He called and said
that he did not feel well.
I was there in an
instant.
He felt that his
blood sugar might be a little low as the previous night it was
down to 6 parts
per thousand.
I gave him a small
amount of coke which is supposed to be the best thing.
I told him that he
looked a bit pale.
He said he could
not make it back to his bedroom although it is only
a few feet
away. He said that he would lie down in
the passage.
Quickly I got a
quilt and two pillows for his head.
He lay down with
his stomach moving greatly.
I asked should I
call an ambulance? He said no.
Then he said I
cannot control my breathing or my heart.
I put my hand on
his chest.
He said that it
felt good.
I think you had
better call the ambulance.
I did that
immediately.
Within 10 minutes
they were here.
Suddenly his head
went back and he was dead.
It was as quickly
as that.
The ambulance
people worked heroically to revive him without any success.
I stayed in my
room and did my favourite activity.
I looked out of
the window and prayed.
I checked with
them and they said that ‘He is not responding is he?’
they said ‘no’ but
continued.
I knew it was all
over.
We strapped him to
a chair and lifted him downstairs and took him
to the hospital.
It was all over.
I will now go back
a little.
When he was on the
floor this is what happened to me.
I was alone and I
knew that we were in a crisis situation.
The thought came
into my mind what are you going to do?
He said lets check
my sugar.
I hastened to find
the equipment.
When I did find it
he did not have the strength to do it,
and I had never
done it before.
The next thought
was, are you going to ask him if he believes
in the Lord Jesus
and if he accepts Christ as his Saviour?
I had written a
document ‘Then you
die’ but it did not address
the situation
regarding people who had not really had an opportunity
to officially as
it were accept Christ.
This was something
no one talked about any way.
I knew what the vast
majority of fellowships said.
I also knew what
my own fellowship had said but I did not feel
that I could
adequately defend the position although I agreed with the conclusion.
The next
exceedingly strong thought that came into my mind was that
you will do no
such thing.
Surely you can see
that is ridiculous?
That is legalism
and ritual.
It is not right.
You have to
realise that this was not a theoretical discussion
in pleasant
surroundings when whatever decision did not matter.
This was staring
actual life and death straight in the face.
I was alone.
There was no one
there to get a second opinion.
In any case
everything was happening exceedingly quickly.
In a few minutes
it was all finished.
So, I simply went
about the business in hand.
Later that day a
scripture was put forcefully into my mind.
.. in
due time Christ died for the ungodly.
The complete verse
follows:
Av
Romans 5:6 For when we were yet without strength,
in due
time Christ died for the ungodly.
Weymouth
Romans 5:6 For already, while we were still helpless,
Christ at the right moment
died for the ungodly.
Youngs
Literal translation Romans 5:6 For in our being still ailing,
Christ in due time did die
for the impious;
I was not judging
my son.
It was a matter of
enlightenment to me and obviously the implications
far exceeded my
own situation.
I realised fully
that there was a time called the ‘due time’.
Before that due
time there were ungodly people who never heard off,
nor knew about
Christ.
After that due
time there have been and will be ungodly people.
Christ died for
all the ‘ungodly’ on both sides of the ‘due time’,
which is when He
died.
It is
not that Christ died only for the ungodly,
who
have been called, and that the others are lost.
It does not say
that.
It is written
Christ died for the ungodly, period.
I am not for one
moment suggesting that we can live whatsoever type
of evil life we
lead and it does not matter.
Far from it.
There will always
be discipline and some will be saved by severe discipline.
However,
discipline and salvation will take place at Christ’s appointed time.
That is not our
business.
This is also
another occasion when we do not want to judge
and come to
conclusions about who is saved and who is lost.
Someone can be
carrying out what appears to be an unseemly act and
we condemn the
person when in fact they are carrying out
the Eternal’s
wishes. An example of this is Pharoah.
We are told that
God hardened his heart.
Later that same
day another thought came to me again, ‘Consider Job’.
Well Job was the
most upright man on the planet.
When God said to
Satan have you considered my servant Job?
He did not say
which one?
When God allowed
Satan to have a go at Job he promptly destroyed
his seven sons and
three daughters in a moment.
Now Job worried
about the conduct of his children and he used to sacrifice
in case they had
sinned when they had their parties.
Now I
cannot accept that God would permit such a disaster to overtake
upright
Job and let his children be lost just to make a point.
I feel that often
we have made God to be some sort of vicious monster
just waiting to
swat us for any and every misdemeanour.
I am fully
convinced that Job will be reunited with his children
which he had
before calamity befell him together with those born to him
at the end of his
ordeal.
His second set of
children could not replace the first set.
It does not work
like that.
Our calling is at
the time appointed by God and not one second before.
I can go further.
When some one is
blind the more that person studies,
the greater is the
darkness and the blindness which will engulf them.
This is because of
the faulty foundation on which they are building.
This is a very
good reason for us to resist asking the Eternal
to help us to be patient, gracious, love, peace,
etc.
Often people admit
that when they pray for help things actually get worse !
We need to ask
Christ to be our Comforter, Righteousness, Patience,
Peace, Love, Etc.
He cannot and will not build on a faulty foundation.
Hebrews
11:10 For he looked for a city which hath
foundations,
whose
builder and maker is God.
We can preach all
we want and unless God is calling those to whom
we are preaching
we will not make a single convert.
I listen with wonderment
when I hear of the various plans that people
make to achieve
church growth.
I confess that I
do not understand such schemes.
I view it as if I
made plans to make some structural changes to your home.
I am sure that if
I turned up with some plans and a builder,
you would not be
amused one little bit.
But that is
exactly what we do in the various churches, claiming that this is ‘vision’.
We study, measure
and evaluate what we feel causes growth.
We even go as far
as to try to incorporate into the church practices
That management of
organisations in the world uses.
We forget that the
entire world system is of the enemy.
We forget that we
should be walking in the opposite direction to the world.
1
Corinthians 3:19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness
with God.
For it is written, He takes
the wise in their own craftiness.
2
Corinthians 4:4 In whom the god of this world hath
blinded the minds
of them
which believe not, lest
the light of the glorious gospel of Christ,
who is the image of God, should
shine unto them.
1 John
5:4 For whatsoever
is born of God overcomes the world:
and this is the victory that
overcomes the world, even our faith.
We are told the
end of the matter in Revelation.
Revelation
11:15 And the seventh angel sounded;
and there were great voices
in heaven, saying,
The
kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord,
and of
his Christ; and
He shall reign for ever and ever.
We are not told
that the kingdoms of our Lord are become the kingdoms
of this world, but
rather the opposite.
The kingdom of
light will completely blow away the kingdom of darkness.
Nothing whatsoever
of darkness will remain regardless of how wonderful
we might think it
is.
I have been
telling anyone who would listen that the only way that
I have survived
all the various traumas is by
asking
Christ to let me experience Him in a real way.
I also
ask to let me represent Him, express Him, manifest Him and satisfy Him.
The end result of
this surprises me, and often leaves those around me dumbfounded.
Now on the morning
that Gary died,
It was three hours
before I was able to contact anyone.
I was still very
much alone.
I knew that many
would be devastated by the news,
especially as he
had been doing so well and the sudden collapse.
I knew that those
who had spoken to him the previous evening
would be hit
terribly hard.
I knew that those
people who I help all over the country would be confused
especially those
whom God had blessed with healing at my request.
I knew the people
to whom I would have to speak.
The reactions were
exactly what I expected.
I gave reassurance
and encouragement to all who called.
One of my friends
was devastated as I expected that he would be.
In distress, in
his quiet time he prayed about my situation
and this is the
response that God gave him.
He faxed me this
document which I will quote in full.
However, I did not
receive the fax but I got a copy of the day
after the funeral
almost two weeks later.
I am very glad
that I did not receive it because it confirmed what
I had been telling
everyone over the previous few days.
My friend said:
“Father how you
must love and value Peter, with the tests you are putting on him?”
Norman,
death is only “sleep”!
(1
Thessalonians 4:13-16);
13 ¶ But we do not wish you to be ignorant,
brethren,
concerning them that are
fallen asleep, to the end that
you be not grieved even as
also the rest who have no hope.
14
For if we believe that Jesus has died and has risen again,
so also God will bring with
him those who have fallen asleep through Jesus.
15
(For this we say to you in the word of the Lord, that *we*,
the living, who remain to the
coming of the Lord,
are in no way to anticipate
those who have fallen asleep;
16
for the Lord himself, with an assembling shout,
with archangel’s voice and
with trump of God,
shall descend from heaven;
and the dead in Christ shall rise first;
Matthew
27:52 And the graves were opened;
and many bodies of the saints
which slept arose,
John
11:11) These
things said he: and after that he said unto them,
Our friend Lazarus sleeps;
but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep.
Gary’s
spirit is in MY care
(Eccl
12:7). Then
shall the dust return to the earth as it was:
and the spirit shall return
unto God who gave it.
Peter
and Natasha just need to wait patiently,
(At this time
Norman did not know my other daughter Sharon)
for
that day when they will be re-united with Gary in My glorious Kingdom.
I could
have healed Gary through Peter’s faith alone;
but that
was not part of My Plan for Gary.
In
order to receive anything form Me, whether it is salvation,
healing
or any other of life’s spiritual gifts,
the
person requiring the gift must have the faith to receive that gift,
I had
not yet appointed for Gary to have that degree of faith.
It was
not his time.
The
time now is for strengthening Peter’s, your own and
the
faith of many others, so that you can all draw closer to Me.
Through
this you will all grow in Grace and Knowledge of Me.
You
must know that Gary’s death is a merciful act of mine.
This
must be seen by the ‘eye of faith’, and will become apparent in time.
Watchman
Nee: “ There is death in nature, death in us, death from Satan.
The
earth lies under a curse
(Genesis
3:17) And unto Adam he said, Because
you have hearkened
unto the voice of thy wife,
and have eaten of the tree,
of which I commanded thee,
saying, You shall not eat of it:
cursed is the ground for thy
sake;
in sorrow shall you eat of it
all the days of thy life;
It is
therefore ruled by that curse.
If we
desire to live victoriously on this earth,
we
will have to overcome death which is in the world. Death is in our body”.
Gary
had not yet the faith to overcome death; but in My Mercy,
he will
eventually overcome death by
My
Resurrection of his body in My timing !
At
Present Gary only sleeps !
The
death I am talking about is the “final death”,
and that
Gary will never experience.
This is
the reality of the situation.
Believe
this !
Satan
has not got Gary’s spirit.
I
hold it safely ! (Eccl. 12:7)
I will
re-clothe his spirit with a totally new body at the right time.
Watchman
Nee. “ Do not view death merely as a ‘crisis’,
it is
pre-eminently a progressive matter.
It,
“death”, is already in us and is gradually and relentlessly devouring us.
But
this can be reversed to prolong our days through faith !”
(After receiving
these thoughts my friend searched for the scriptures
which are high
lighted in red and which he thought supported the thoughts
which he received.
I have added the scriptures)
The above are
amazing comments with some exceedingly powerful points
some of which run
directly contrary to the teachings of much of Christendom.
1. Gary’s spirit is in MY care.
It does not say
Gary’s soul is in my care, but rather his spirit.
We are told that
there is a spirit in man.
Job 32:8 But there is a spirit which is in
man;
and the breath of the
Almighty gives them understanding.
We are told that the spirit
goes back to God
who gave it in the first
place.
Ecclesiastes
12:7 Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was:
and the spirit shall return unto God
who gave it.
2. Healing
requires faith by the one who is doing the praying.
3. God has a plan
for each one of us and not just a global plan,
but rather a very
specific plan.
4. To receive you
must believe.
5. Whereas we
subscribe to time and chance,
we have a
confirmation that there is an appointed time for everything.
A time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to
sow and a time to reap.
There is even an appointed time to have
‘faith’, and Faith
is Jesus Christ.
It is no
wonder we should ‘Judge Not’.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 To
every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
6. The desire of
God’s heart is intimacy with us, not works,
not legalism, not ritual.
Jesus Christ is Grace.
He wants us to experience him in a very
real way and not just as an
intellectual, theological exercise.
7. Without the
slightest shadow of doubt I know that this whole situation
was merciful from the beginning and even
more so at the end.
Of course it was sad, but Gary did not
have to go through the pain and
suffering which my sister and mother
experienced before they died.
8. I have already
seen exactly what was meant by seeing the situation
through the eye of faith.
9. Watchman Nee’s
comments are very pertinent.
There is no question that the earth is
under a curse and has been
since the time of Eden.
If we are honest, our experience tells us
that we are all suffering
in one way or another from the curses that
exist.
It is foolish to pretend that we are not
all groaning because we are Christians.
In fact the opposite true.
For us the road is narrow and very hard
and difficult,
but we cope because it is not I but Christ lives His
life through us.
10. Death is
already working in us every day.
11. It is not a
matter that if you do not get saved now before you die you are lost.
It is rather at God’s appointed time you
will be called.
That is His business not ours,
although of course we have to carry out
our commission. Mark
16.
If
you reject that calling to life and chose death that is a different matter.
As illustrated earlier it is not for us to
judge who is lost and who is saved.
The Father calls whom He wills, when He
wills.
We can take any action which we might feel
will cause growth
and the more action we take the more we
see the congregation dwindle
to a tiny fraction of what it was in the
past, right before our very eyes.
12. God is not
some vindictive monster just waiting to swat us
into oblivion at the drop of a hat.
Rather in His great love and mercy, He
sent Christ to die in our place.
13. We are blessed in spite of ourselves and what we do,
and not
because of who we are, or what we do.
If we were dealt
with according to our transgressions,
our sins would
totally obliterate any blessings that we might like
to think we ought
to receive.
The classic
example is the children of Israel.
They moaned and
complained about their situation in Egypt
and God sent them
a deliverer.
They spoiled the
Egyptians and received their wealth which
they never earned.
They were freed to keep a feast in the desert.
Instead their
moaning continued for 40 solid years,
yet they were
blessed every single day.
They were blessed
out of the Grace of God and certainly not
because of what
they said or did but rather in spite of it.
We really do need to
appreciate that our works and righteousness
are but filthy
rags.
To
think that we are better than others for any reason
is a
great folly indeed. We are to consider others better than
ourselves.
Philippians
2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;
but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better
than themselves.
14. We need to
recognise that the important things that we should do today,
must be done today.
Tomorrow may be too late.
Windows of opportunity must be grasped
when they occur.
For some tomorrow will not come.
Never presume life.
If you do, one day you will be left
sorrowing saying ‘If only’.
15. Never make the
mistake of valuing things above people.
16. Never make the
mistake of thinking that your position is worse
than anyone else’s. It is not true.
There are others who have gone through
much worse than you have.
17. Do not treat
someone who has gone through such a trauma
as if they have an infectious disease.
They are the same person they were before
the tragedy struck.
18. Be careful not
to spout scripture that is most inappropriate at that time.
Of course the scripture is true.
But someone who is going through the
trauma of coping with
the distress of a death does not need to
hear the fact that
you know a particular scripture:
For example “All things work together for
good”.
They may well know the scripture
themselves,
but it does not eliminate the present
pain.
It might even smack of self
righteousness.
It is far better to simply say that you
are sorry and that you are hurting too.
19. The cards,
emails, and phone calls which I received must be around 200.
I greatly appreciate every one of them.
The people who had the courage to write a
brief note confirmed to me
that the impact of a note far exceeds a card.
It is a far more difficult thing to do,
but well worth the effort.
The above points
in one way or another came into my mind during this period.
During this period
from the end of November to almost the end of February,
the problems have
continued.
Natasha’s car
window was broken right outside our house.
She also had a
front wheel tire fail, probably after an emergency stop.
Two computer hard
disks were destroyed, we are not certain how.
On overcoming the
second problem the computer
was immediately
hit by a virus.
I rang up to claim
for damage to my computer system and also
to increase my
house insurance to find that for some reason and without
my knowledge, my
policy had been cancelled.
So not only I
could not claim but for months the house was uninsured.
I could be offered
no reason or explanation.
I broke a tooth
which lasted over a month.
Sharon my eldest
daughter suffered some very disturbing ill health
before the funeral
which caused us to have to rush her to the doctor twice.
She recovered in
time.
My ex- wife’s
mother died a few later, causing even more stress on the family.
I was advised that
my remaining work contract was being terminated.
So life continues
to be interesting.
But to be
absolutely honest I feel very well and at peace.
All thanks and
praise to the Eternal God who has made this possible.
There is an interesting
scripture with which I will close.
Romans
4:5 But to him that works not,
but believeth on him that justifies the
ungodly,
his faith is counted for righteousness.
We can be certain
that everything only lasts for a while.
It will not last forever. We know this too
will pass.
