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                Leviticus 26:17

       And I will set my face against you,          and ye shall be slain before your enemies:

       they that hate you shall reign over you;  and ye shall flee when none pursueth you.

       Ezekiel 20:26 ……

       that I might make them desolate, to the end that they might know that I am the LORD.

                                         A Message From Peter James 


                            FAMILY DESTRUCTION

                          Secretly – Actively- Subtly


Over the past few years I have said that if you want to see what is the

state of the church you just need to look at the physical world as

I feel that one mirrors the other.


During this period we know that the American armed forces have developed

stealth bombers, stealth fighter aircraft and stealth ships.

The idea is that they can sneak up on the enemy unawares and accomplish

their missions whatever that might happen to be, and vanish before anyone

knew what had happened. They would have succeeded in avoiding the

all important enemy radar which would have alerted the missile batteries

to destroy them.      


Today the very same thing is happening to the family and the church.

I am meeting with people who do not have the slightest idea that

their family unit is under attack. For one reason or another no one mentions

anything to the parties concerned either family or friends,

so that by the time the attack is noticed it is too late.

It is not defeat in a battle but rather that a war has been lost.

You are defeated before you even realise that a war had been raging.

Some do realise that their family is under attack but feel

helpless to act. Sometimes some have resigned themselves with the logic,

well if that is what God wants for me fine. Once I give up my mate I will

really be able to serve God properly. They do not realise that such a thought

would be from the enemy and not from the Eternal. They need to fight.

They have seen the enemy aircraft but they feel that they are flying

too high and too fast to take any evasive or counter measures.


Often relationships are purely tolerance and endurance tests

where partners lead separate lives. Depression, hurt,

and the feeling of abject failure and uselessness,

as well as frustration and unforgiveness take their toll as our relationship

with God comes under immense pressure and praying

becomes a chore and not a joy.


Home is the last place that any members of the family really want to be.


Home is a place of manipulation and control and hostility either

open or concealed. It is  not a place of love and peace although many

little plaques about ‘love’ and ‘peace’ may adorn the walls.


I keep meeting people who feel that if it was not for their husband

or their wife they could do so much more for God’s work.

Their partner is a hindrance and a burden.

One person said after twenty five years of marriage with a grown up family,

I should not have gotten married in the first place and walked away.

Though superficially everything seemed fine.


A core issue when it has all been analysed is  ‘Self-centredness’.

If you remove this single factor most problems will swiftly vanish.  


Sometimes I meet people whose jobs seem to be coming to an end

for one reason or another and they feel, well I could now give up work

and work for God full time and without a family it would be easier.

I am not at all certain that God is looking for workers who are turning

to Him as a last resort to earn a living when everything else they have tried

to make money has failed. Working for God is seen as a way out.

The same applies to turning your back on your family.

This is just a personal opinion, but I view it almost as an insult to God.

It is like marrying someone because no one else would have you.

We serve God and give him praise and honour because that is

the great privilege for which we were created.

Our families are given to us as a blessing.

Often a family is blessed because of the activity

of just one of the partners but this also works in reverse.

A family can be cursed because of the activity of just one member.

Many authorities have stated that the family is the building block

of society. It is also the building block of the church.

If the family is messed up the church and society will be dramatically

affected and messed up.


There is absolutely nowhere to run and hide as Jonah found out.

If your words do not match your deeds,

you will be an unprofitable servant.

Every thought, every word, every deed is known and recorded

by God and we will all be held accountable.

There are no secrets from God.

You can fool your partner but you cannot be so

foolish as to feel you can fool God who says:

Matthew 12: 36  But I say to you, that every idle word, whatever men

may speak, they shall give an account of it in Judgment Day.  


Matthew 10:30  But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.


This means that literally each hair has a number and a record is kept

of each one and when one goes missing in the bath it is noted.


There is a law in operation which affects us whether we know about

it or not. There is no way around it. If individuals or nations paid attention

to this, the world would be a completely different place.


Galatians 6:7  Do not be deceived, God is not mocked.

For whatever a man may sow, that he also will reap.


Job 4:8  As I have seen, the ones who plow iniquity and sow misery reap the same.


Hosea 8:7  For they sow the wind, and they reap the whirlwind.

He has no stalk; the bud shall make no flour.

If it does make it, strangers will swallow it up.


It is worth meditating on the above verses because you can have

a very exact idea of where you are heading without any doubt whatsoever.

These are as certain as tomorrows sunrise.

The clouds may hide the sunrise but it still will rise whether you see it or not.


Unity is strength.

Luke 11:17  But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them,

Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation;

and a house divided against a house falls.  


We can see from this, that it is a matter of “when” will the desolation be

and not “if” there will be desolation. To be brought into desolation

is to become a victim, to lose.


It seems to me that we do not appreciate what happens when people

get married and what a disaster takes place when people get divorced.

I speak from experience.


I have told several people that we should not be complacent and just

do our own thing as God can allow events to take place which will remove

from us the things or people that we take for granted in order to get

our attention. I have heard it said that one of the worse things that

can happen to someone is that God grants them the thing that they keep

nagging Him for.

We will then be brought to our senses when we find that what we thought

was night was not a night at all but just an afternoon and a real dark night

descends on and overwhelms us.


Man was made to need God and to have a mate, in that order.

The critical factor is to have a close relationship with God.

If this happens you can quite happily get along without a mate,

as Christ is everything.

However, the alternative is not true.

If you have a mate and do not have God, in the process of time,

you will fail utterly and completely.

We cannot ditch a mate and claim that we do not need a mate

because we now have God. That is simply unscriptural.

God is our first priority our mate second.


God looked at Adam and said

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;

I will make him an help meet for him.  


Then God made a woman using a rib from Adam


Genesis 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam,

and he slept: and he took one of his ribs,

and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22  And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man,

made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:

she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.


We can see from this that Adam thought that this was an incredibly close relationship.

The very first thing we read is that this union was very important indeed.


Genesis 2:24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,

and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.


Matthew 19:6  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Adam and Eve did not have a physical father and mother,

yet we see that right at the very beginning of creation,

the great Creator God declared that that when people  marry

they are to leave their father and mother.

At this time we are not told that Adam and Eve did not have

any children as yet. It would be several years before they had children

who had grown up and were in a position to marry.

A major change takes place as a married couple becomes one flesh

in the sight of God. This is more than just sleeping together.

It is a spiritual union which is bound in heaven and created by

the sleeping together.


To leave father and mother is more than a geographical separation.

You could live next door and have left your father and mother

or you could live thousands of miles apart and still not have left

your father and mother.

It is a separation when the parents do not interfere in the affairs

of their children. Most times parents know how to bring up your children

better than their children do, but they had their turn,

now it is your turn. I am sure that you have seen countless times when

the in-laws are really destroying marriages.

It is quite a common feature of comedy programs.

We may laugh and be amused but it is no laughing matter.


In order to understand ‘One flesh’, I like to consider it like a child,

the result of the physical union.

It is totally impossible to separate half of a child and say that this half

is from the mother and that half is from the father.

It is one child.

Just like a husband and wife becomes one flesh.

The implications of this are profound.

God regards a husband and wife as one, two people comprising

one indivisible team. Regardless of the outward appearances when one

is affected the other is affected whether they acknowledge it

or recognise it or not. If you lie, cheat, steal, commit adultery etc.,

your partner will suffer.

When a child hurts his arm, he cannot say that the part of my arm

that is from dad hurts but the part of my arm from mum does not hurt.

When the arm hurts the arm hurts.

This union is regarded very seriously by our Father in heaven

and thus fornication and adultery is forbidden.

The seventh commandment is against adultery.

If our Father commands that other people do not destroy marriage

relationships, He would hardly promote this course of action Himself.


We have to recognise that the primary function of the ten commandments

is to show us the character of God.


We can delude ourselves into thinking all sorts of reasons why

it would be better for us not to be married, of course this is after

we have been married. We did not think so before we were married,

in fact we just could not wait to be married.

The enemy is quite happy to seduce us into thinking absolutely

anything about our own marriage relationship or the marriages of our

children. As long as the relationship is destroyed the adversary does

not care who mashes it up, or how it is destroyed.  

We might well want out of a marriage situation but we cannot use God

as the excuse to run away and to get out of a marriage.


Bible In Basic English

1 Corinthians 7:29 But I say this, my brothers, the time is short;

and from now it will be wise for those who have wives to be as

if they had them not;


The verse in context.

ASV 29  But this I say, brethren, the time is shortened, that

 henceforth both those that have wives may be as though

they had none;

30  and those that weep, as though they wept not;

and those that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not;

and those that buy, as though they possessed not;

31  and those that use the world, as not using it to the full:

for the fashion of this world passes away.


Now some men can use this verse to say well we do not have to worry

about the fact that we are married we can now just do our own thing.

Is that what the scripture means?

Really the women could really say the same thing, why can’t they?

This is utter nonsense. God is certainly not condoning immorality.


The King James Version in the Scofield study bible heads up

chapter 7 with the following

Because God has established marriage’.


This is a very revealing heading and truly sums up God’s

view on marriage. As it is a heading, we can expect that what follows

is NOT going to be destructive to the marriage union.

The whole chapter deals with different aspects of relationships.

God does not in one breath create something, say that it is

very important and in the next breath say don’t worry about it,

it does not matter any more, you can smash it up.


What we see in this chapter is that Paul says that he feels that

the best thing for Christians is that they are not married then

their focus will be on Christ completely.   

There will be no divided loyalties.

He then shows quite clearly that husbands and wives must really

be concerned about the needs of each other.

What we are seeing is that our first focus must be on Christ,

anything else is, should, and must be secondary.

That has always been the case.

This is simply an application of the first commandment,

God must be first in our lives whether we are single or married.


In case anyone thinks that they could use God as an excuse

to do a runner Verse 27 says

If you are married to a wife, make no attempt to get free from her:

if you are free from a wife, do not take a wife.


So what is verse 29 speaking about?

It says the time is short, this is for the worlds system.

Some say well Paul wrote that around 2,000 years ago that is not

a short time. Humanly it is not, but in the view of God a thousand

years are as a watch in the night that is past, a mere moment.

Humanly we also need to consider that even if you are 50 years old

and you live another fifty years, that period can vanish and

you would not even have noticed it.

The time for all of us is indeed short. Time truly flies.

We should never presume life and  that we will sort things

out tomorrow. What we are being told is that don’t worry too much

about your current situation because very soon it is going

to pass away. If you are weeping you will soon be as someone who

is not weeping. If you are rejoicing with physical things that will

soon also cease. If you are buying things you will be like those who

are not buying things.

If you are married you will be as if you had not married.


All of these things are going to be replaced by something far greater,

the manifest presence of Christ. At that time all of these things will

no longer be the great priority in your life that they are,

because the former things are passed away and replaced when all tears

are wiped away permanently.

Physical marriage would have been replaced by marriage to the Lamb.

The rejoicing about things that perish will be replaced by joy

unspeakable which will not perish in the manifest presence of Christ.


Yes we are to enjoy life and the many blessings that we have been

given but we are to realise they are temporary and will soon pass away

with the restitution of all things to how they should have been

in the first place before sin entered the world.

Therefore we are not to get too caught with these things which

are only of limited duration. However, we are to cherish and care

for our wives and families who are our responsibility.


1 Timothy 5:8  If anyone has no care for his family and those in his house,

he is false to the faith, and is worse than one who has no faith.


This is a clear scripture that requires no further explanation.

We can see the seriousness of this even between a believer and an unbeliever.


1 Corinthians 7:12  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord:

If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased

to dwell with him, let him not put her away.


1 Corinthians 7:13  And the woman which hath an husband that

believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.


If this is the case between an unbeliever and a believer how much more

binding must the situation be between two people who regard

themselves as believers.

I know countless situations where either party feels that they can do

whatever they feel like doing.

This is certainly not supported by the ‘Word of God’.


These very same couples will be walking around, or going to

church services here there and everywhere with large bibles under

their arms. One person might go to one church and the other party

 might go to another church. Each somehow feeling superior to the other.

They feel that somehow if they carry around their bible that gives

legitimacy to their conduct.

It does not. It would be a good idea if they read what it says and apply

it to themselves.


Romans 2:13  For not the hearers of the law are just before God,

but the doers of the law shall be justified.


Anything that God says is law, and it will happen every single time.

It is unstoppable.


The Bible in Basic English

Isaiah 55:11  So will my word be which goes out of my mouth:

it will not come back to me with nothing done,

but it will give effect to my purpose, and do that for which I have sent it.


The bible is full of instructions for us and we ignore them to our peril.

As a Christian our bodies are not our own.

They are first of all the temple of God.


1 Corinthians 6:19  What? know ye not that your body is the temple

of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?


Secondly a married couple have to consider their partners.

The ‘Word of God’ is very clear regarding sex.


1 Corinthians 1  Now, as to the things in your letter to me:

It is good for a man to have nothing to do with a woman.

2  But because of the desires of the flesh, let every man have his wife,

and every woman her husband.

3  Let the husband give to the wife what is right;

and let the wife do the same to the husband.

4  The wife has not power over her body, but the husband;

and in the same way the husband has not power over his body, but the wife.

5  Do not keep back from one another what is right, but only for a short time, and by agreement,

so that you may give yourselves to prayer, and come together again; so that Satan

may not get the better of you through your loss of self-control.

6  But this I say as my opinion, and not as an order of the Lord.


Paul says that this was not a commandment from God but a spirit led opinion.


Sex is a main area which partners use to control and manipulate each other.

This is utterly wrong. 


Often we have the silent or the shouting treatment or as the politicians put it

‘frank discussions’.

When our ego takes over we can have the fighting and destructive scenario.

Then there is the selfish situation, after me you are first.

This is utterly devoid of care and concern for the other person.

There is the financial situation when the wives are supposed to feed

the five thousand with an allowance for a few loaves and fishes.

You cannot have a neighbour any closer than your partner.

There will be many times when there will be sacrifice that has a very real

cost but you are happy to do whatever it is anyway.


1 Corinthians 13 the ‘Love chapter’ should be our constant companion.

That is a message in itself.


Christ Himself referring to the second commandment said:

Matthew 22:39  And the second is like unto it,

You shall love thy neighbour as yourself.  


This applies to every human being on the planet, regardless of

their ‘religious’ persuasion. This is an eternal instruction.

Whatever we do has to fall under the microscope

of loving God and our neighbour.

If it does not we are in serious trouble regardless of what we think. 


Husbands are told to love their wives and wives are told

to love their husbands. In a sense that is a strange command as when

the man and woman and man got married in the first place

they supposedly loved each other.


Men tend to like the chase but often in time tend to become

bored after they have captured a prize.

We also need to pay attention to what our partners say:


Matthew 12:34  O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil,

speak good things?

for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.


Far too often we get into all sorts of difficulties misled by the

packaging and not the real person. It is like the ‘lucky dip’ you find at

school bazaars or Christmas crackers.

Have you ever found anything worthwhile in a lucky dip or in a cracker.

Christmas crackers can look very attractive but the little piece

of useless plastic or paper hat that is ejected,

bears no relationship to the packaging. 

Unfortunately we are such good actors that it can take a period of time

for the real person behind the packaging  to surface.

It is no wonder that Christ will not judge us by our appearance

or what we say.

If He did you have to admit some of us would have a really rough time.


Isaiah 11:3  To refresh him in the fear of Jehovah,

And by the sight of his eyes ( Referring to Christ)  he judges not,

Nor by the hearing of his ears decides.


We are told that what was and is important are our hearts

and not our garments.


Joel 2:13  And rend your heart, and not your garments,

And turn back unto Jehovah your God, For gracious and merciful is He,

Slow to anger, and abundant in kindness,

And He hath repented concerning the evil.


Often we are told things because things are not operating

the way that they should do.


Marriage based on emotion is not going anywhere.

Marriage has to be based on commitment.

Of course there will be emotion, however, it cannot be based on emotion.

Obviously something can take place that will take away

the gloss of marriage.

When I was growing up my mother used to say

“come see me and come live with me are two different things”.

This is very true.   


Ecclesiastes 4:12  And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him;

and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.        







                                              Man                                 Wife            



We can see from the above that a man and his wife are different

but equal on the same level at the bottom line of the triangle.

God is above at the top but both the man and the woman are equal

and also have equal access to God. It is easy to see how the

three strands link together, there is strength and permanence

when God is included by both parties.


A rope maker has stated that a rope with two strands is weak

and one with four strands is not any stronger than one with

three strands. The reason given is that all three strands touch together.

In the above illustration, if you take out the triangle,

you will see this clearly.


One of the biggest problems we have today is control

and manipulation of individuals, in churches, groups and even nations.

This is abhorrent to God. Man was put on the earth to have dominion

over the physical creation and Satan, but not over other human beings.


Genesis 1:27  So God created man in his own image, in the image

of God created he him; male and female created he them.

28  And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful,

and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it:

and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl

of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.  


Adam and Eve were created equal but different.

It is only after sin entered that we read


Genesis 3:16 he shall rule over Unto the woman he said, I will greatly

multiply your sorrow and your conception; in sorrow your shall

bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband,

and he shall rule over thee.


Over and over the word of God preaches equality,

the priesthood of believers are called brethren.


Matthew 23:8  But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master,

even Christ; and all ye are brethren.


Galatians 3:26  For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

27  For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

28  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free,

there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus.        


How dare we use positions of service to promote ourselves to lord

it over others. Leadership courses need to be changed

to ‘Service Courses’, or some other such function not just name.

The only problem with that is that is the attendance might drop to zero.

It is part of our very nature to control others.


1 Corinthians 12:28  And God hath set some in the church,

first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers,

after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments,

diversities of tongues. 


These are positions of service to edify and build up the body of Christ.

The same applies to our families.

Christ Himself, the great Creator God gave up His position

to become a mere man, a servant.

We all claim that we are following His example, but are we?


John 13:13  Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.

14  If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet;

ye also ought to wash one another's feet.

15  For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.

16  Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord;

neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.

17  If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.


This is not just an annual activity but a daily activity.

Philippians  2:3  Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;

but in lowliness of mind

let each esteem other better than themselves.


We all can benefit from applying this more to each other.


We really have to move from being intellectual Christians,

to ones that practice what we preach,

otherwise everything we do is futile and hypocritical.


This all has to start in the home, love begins at home.

It you cannot love at home you certainly will not be able to love

anywhere else. You can put on a show but it is only time before

everything will be made plain for all to see.

Many Christians are excellent actors and could easily get Oscars etc.

What is certain is that we do not fool God.

We can argue and fight on our way to services in the car and

by the time we get out of the car all is sweetness and light.

In fact when partners hear other

people speaking about their partners, they often wonder who on earth

they are speaking about because they do not know the person that

they are hearing about. It is certainly not the person

with whom they live. We can stand in service as we sing with arms

around each other and the reality is those same arms would dearly

like to strangle the other partner.


Man was first of all made to need God and secondly to need a mate.

Immediately the man was made, he was put into a garden.

In this garden was the tree of life, ‘Christ’ himself.

Adam was allowed to partake of Christ if he so choose,

but he chose to do things his own way, the way of independence,

away from God, the knowledge of the tree of good and evil.


Genesis 2:7  And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground,

and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life;

and man became a living soul.

8 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden;

and there he put the man whom he had formed.

9  And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree

that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life

also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge

of good and evil.

16  And the LORD God commanded the man, saying,

Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat:

17  But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,

you shall not eat of it: for in the day that you eat

thereof you shall surely die.


This all took place even before Eve was created.


18  And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should

be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.


Put into the beautiful garden and given access to eat of the ‘Tree of Life’, Christ,

only then was he given a mate.


Genesis 2:22  And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man,

made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:

she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.


Humanly a church is just a collection of families.

Cooperation not confrontation was the plan for man.     

But today the opposite thing is taking place everywhere.

Domination and control of others has been the order of the day.


This has been an on going situation for millennia in every area,

governments, the church etc.

The Roman Catholic church did this with priests, bishops,

popes and the confessional.

The bible was only for the priesthood.

It was generally kept away from the laity until 1611.

The protestants followed suit in similar manner with a learned ministry.

Although I am not for a moment advocating ignorance,

Satan has been allowed to have his seat right in the midst of God’s

church and the world’s systems have been brought into the church

instead of the church taking the church into the world.

We let our homes our jobs our, our clothes, our holidays become

the barometer of our success, whatever that means,

as our families fall apart.

Cars have become as an additional garment of clothing,

a status symbol, but the person in spite of the make and type car

is miserable and wonders what is the purpose of life.

Even scholarship and education is used to smash families.

One person can think I know more than the other partner therefore

I am better or more spiritual than you,

you poor unfortunate lost person.

The proof is not the words that are spoken but the actual fruit.


John  13:35  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples,

if ye have love one to another.


The idea of control is deeply entwined in the fabric of society.

In Britain the current government is trying to take over some of the

responsibilities of the family because of the failure of the family.

This is a nightmare and a sad indictment on the family.


This issue is addressed from Genesis to Revelation.

If we look at the book of Revelation in the letters to the churches

All sorts of sins are mentioned in these messages but regarding

this topic, there is what appears to be an obscure statement

about Nicolatans.

Who were the Nicolaitans?

There was some type of hierarchy of clergy and laity.

The word Nicolaitans is an equivalent of the Greek word Nikolaos,

composed of two Greek words – niko and laos.

Niko means conquer or above others.

Laos means common people, secular people, or laity.

So Nikolaos means conquering the common people,

 climbing above the laity.

Nicolaitans, then, must refer to a group of people who esteem

themselves higher than common believers.

This was undoubtedly the hierarchy followed and established

by Catholicism and taken up by Protestantism.

This has also found its way into the church.

The Lord hates the works, the behaviour, of these Nicolaitans,

and we must hate what the Lord hates.  


Revelation 2:15  So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine

of the Nicolaitans, which thing I hate.  


If we truly loved God and one another we would have no problems.


The point is we cannot have this control and manipulation

in the family or in the larger family the church.

It is an abomination to God which He hates.

All Christians are called to be a Holy nation, a nation of priests

whose priority in life is to serve the living God.

This is a tremendous honour. We are all equal but different.

All have sinned, there are no exceptions,

regardless of what our pride says.


Romans 3:23  For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;


Galatians 3:28  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond

nor free, there is neither male nor female:

for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 3:11  Where there is neither Greek nor Jew,

circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian,

bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.  


The letters in Revelation are addressed to the churches.

There is no split within each church.

God is not a respecter of persons.


The gospel that saves a woman is the same gospel that saves a man.

The gospel that saves a man in London is the same gospel that saves

a man in the middle of the African jungle.

The gospel cannot change from country to country.


Ephesians 5:22  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,

as unto the Lord.


First of all the word submit is not in the original Greek.

It says  wives to your husbands’.

But in any case the previous verse which we should read first says,


Ephesians 5:21  Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

So it is blatantly clear that it is a two way street.


Luke 6:31  Do to others as you would have them do to you.

This is not a suggestion but a command.


Matthew 22:39  And a second like it is this,

Have love for your neighbour as for yourself.


Galatians 5:14  For all the law is made complete in one word, even in this,

Have love for your neighbour as for yourself.


Many families have been destroyed by taking this Ephesians 5:22

out of context. Several ladies have told me that they feel

like door mats. The stories which I have heard from all over

the country are truly shocking and quite unbelievable.

The ladies tolerated much because they had to ‘submit’

to their husbands.

One lady was not allowed to use the inside toilet.

She had to use one at the bottom of the garden, anytime,

day or night, spring, summer, autumn, winter, however,

the husband would use the one in the house.

Can you imagine going to the bottom of the garden on a really

cold rainy winter’s night at 2.00 a.m.? extreme but true.

I know of situations when wives complained about how they were

treated even when their health was put into serious jeopardy

they were reprimanded and told that if they looked after

their husbands properly everything would be alright.

They must be doing something wrong.

This was and is completely out of order and immoral.


Whatever the situation might be we can always ask

is that how I would like to be treated?

Am I using and abusing the other person, physically, mentally,

emotionally, spiritually, indeed in any way at all?

If the answer is yes to any of the above then

we need to mend our ways.

What is certain is that we will have to account for our thoughts,

our words, and our deeds,

because as we have said  God is not mocked.


Galatians 6:7  Be not deceived; God is not mocked:

for whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap.


This is a cast iron guaranteed fact which cannot be broken. 


Today the idea of submitting brings to mind wrestling. You will submit or else.

We should have love for one another.

If we do that everything else will fall into place.

Many pet owners lavish their pets with far more affection than

they do their spouses. Their pet poodle might well eat salmon and

steak whilst their mate eats mince.

Only the best will do for their pet.

Many dogs submit to their owners but look how well they are treated. 

Some people treat their inanimate plants or their designer clothes

better than they do their spouses. Their favourite activity,

soap on the TV, or football team gets more attention than their mate.

This is all quite ridiculous.


Love conquers all but it has to be operating from both sides

for a union to be successful.


Many people pay lip service to loving their neighbour,

but that is all that it is. That is totally unacceptable and wrong.

Words without deeds are meaningless.

Today it is quite normal for people to be betrayed by those

who claim to love them.

I am also speaking about people who claim to be Christians.

If you cannot love your neighbour who you can see

how can you love God whom you cannot see ?


1 John 4:20  if any one may say--`I love God,' and his brother

he may hate, a liar he is; for he who is not loving his brother

whom he hath seen, God--whom he hath not seen--

how is he able to love?

21  and this is the command we have from Him,

that he who is loving God, may also love his brother.


As I said there is no neighbour who is closer to a partner

than the other partner.


Adjusting to unfortunate childhood experiences can be very difficult.

These experiences can profoundly affect marital relationships

many years later, but as the apostle Paul says we have to put

the past behind us. Often mates do not have any idea at all of these

traumatic experiences which severely blight and even destroy

many marriages. Christ can and will heal these situations

if you seek Him as your complete daily salvation from your troubles.

Someone brought up by a dominant mother usually because the father

was not there or did not assume his role also creates

enormous difficulties. If you realise that you were not actually living

the way God intended in a relationship, changing from one role

to another after you are married is exceedingly difficult.

However, it is possible because with God all things are possible.

I feel that it requires a miracle, but God in His mercy will do this for you.


Sacrifice, suffering and pain is not a problem when you love others.

Women go through childbirth to have a family, men suffer no such thing.

Christ was made perfect through sufferings so will we.

That is what we are called to do.


Hebrews 2:10  For it became him, for whom are all things,

and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory,

to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings.


Never assume life and go to sleep angry and bitter.

Sort out problems whilst it is yet today there might be no tomorrow

for you or worse still for the person with whom you are angry.

You cannot bring them back from the dead to say

sorry and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

For hundreds of thousands of people there will be no tomorrow,

that is reality. Oh I should have cared, oh I should have spent time

etc., etc., it is too late then.


You have to let go of the past to live in the present.

If you do not the past will become not only your present

but your future also. You must forgive and not feel woe is me

and never ending sorrow for yourself.

Pity parties are sad affairs and destructive.

Christ could have had the biggest pity party of anyone who ever lived.

We might like to think that God is a fair God.

Our God is not a fair God,

He is not a respecter of persons and He certainly is not a fair God.

If He was fair,

Christ would never have suffered and died for you and me.

He would never have died in the first place because He never sinned.

We would have died and He would have lived

and that would be the end of the matter.

We would have died for, and in our own sin.

That would be fair, just and right.

Fortunately and thankfully our God is exceedingly merciful, kind and loving

and was prepared to murder His son for us and on our behalf.

You may not like to hear it put that way but that is how it is.   

His incarnation, suffering, death, resurrection and ascension are our salvation.


Yes we have to honour our father and mother









                                     The only way out of our dilemmas is Jesus Christ.

                                                     He is the only way of escape.

                                                                Praise the Lord.

                                                        Come soon Lord Jesus.


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